VENUS PATROL PRESENTS: THE FOUR GAMES PENDLETON WARD REALLY WANTS TO MAKE WITH DOUBLE FINE

What could be more exciting than Broken Age creators Double Fine announcing another round of its Amnesia Fortnight game jam? Here’s the easy answer: another round of Amnesia Fortnight where one team has already been chosen to create a new game led by Adventure Time creator Pendleton Ward.

Like last time, the Fortnight — a two-week long jam that’s previously given birth to Double Fine games like Costume Quest, Stacking and Spacebase DF-9 — will be funded by the public via the studio’s just launched Humble Bundle page, and funders will ultimately decide which of the nearly 30 pitches Double Fine will focus on, all of which will be again fully video documented by studio stalwarts 2 Player Productions.

But this year’s twist is that Ward is also pitching four of his own game ideas for the studio to produce, which will also be voted on by the public. Outside his story & design input on the console and mobile Adventure Time games (and Cheque Please, his still forthcoming collaboration with QWOP creator Bennett Foddy), the resulting prototype will be the first original concept he’ll have released in actual game form, and all four pitches are as honestly super hilarious & creatively unbridled as you’d expect.

And so, below he’s given Venus Patrol the extra special horse’s-mouth skinny on (and new doodles for) all four of the concepts — from a stab-happy cupid, to an entire town’s least favorite human-pyramid topper, to the fantastically ambitious zombie thriller he’s wanted to create since high school, which we might as well call right now as totally the one everyone is going to vote for, aren’t they.

Cupid, You Fat Little Scamp

Says Ward: This is a 2D sidescrolling platformer where you play as a fatty little cupid that stabs angry guys in the ass with love arrows because he broke his bow. He probably rolled onto it while he was sleeping and crushed it with his booty.

Everybody’s angry, and cupid’s so bummed out about it. He’s gotta stab everyone with those arrows and make them love somethin’ — at least get them to stop fighting, for sure. Some guys have guns and will be shooting and cupid’s gonna have to dodge those bullets, man. He’s chubby so he can’t fly very well… you’ll have a floaty jump at best.

Cupid’s cute!

Little Pink Best Buds

Says Ward: This one’s a mystery. It’s a first person story adventure with a mechanic similar to the game Façade. You’re dropped into a grassy field surrounded by tiny pink dudes who all want to be your best friend. One of these dudes has a boombox, one has a dog, one has an oversized leg…

You get to choose which one will be your best friend and which ones will be jealouussss… so jealous of wanting to be your best friend that they might hurt you. Watch what you say and play the field, Little Pink Best Buds.

No More McDonalds

Says Ward: This is a zombie game. You play as humans or zombies. Humans focus on using ranged weapons, crafting shelters and hoarding supplies while hiding in small discrete safe-houses. Zombies use beefed up attributes to kick ass, leap between buildings, scream to call other zombies to their location and head-butt down barricades.

I love zombies so much. I want to live in the most perfect zombied out simulation. I want to grappling-hook up buildings as a human survivor in an apocalyptic cityscape wasteland. I want to spraypaint the walls, “Suck my knees, ZOMBIES!” I want it so bad.

I want to build bridges between rooftops. I want to have AI babies in the game that could be equipped with rifles to act as sentries. I want loud sounds to alert nearby NPC zombies. I want to live out my zombie fighting fantasy.

I’m also scared of how large this idea is. I don’t know if it’s realistic to take on this idea. I originally was imagining it as an MMO with simple cartoony graphics, and building the world using satellite photos of San Francisco.

I’m kinda hoping that people don’t vote for this game because it’s the most complicated idea that I have. I’ve been thinking about playing this game since high school, man.

Damnit Jerry

Says Ward: This is a simple puzzle game where you play as a big fat guy named Jerry. The town that Jerry lives in has a King, and the King always wants Jerry to be on top of a human pyramid made up of all the townspeople in the kingdom.

Oh man, the townspeople are hell-of frustrated by this situation. The townspeople say “DAMNIT JERRY!” all the livelong day. But what the King decrees MUST BE SO! The King loves Jerry, he loves him THE BEST!

As you help Jerry climb the human pyramid without toppling it over, there’ll be obstacles. Somebody might offer Jerry a donut and your controls will go CRAZY! Or maybe Jerry’s mother will be in the center of the human pyramid, and she’ll be crying about how proud she is of Jerry, and you have to give her a hug until she stops crying, otherwise it’ll make EVERYBODY START CRYING!

You know, lots of hurdles, man, Jerry has a hard life, but no matter what, the King will always love him more than any other townsperson.

“FUCK YOU JERRY,” say the townspeople. “You’re my favorite, Jerry.” says the King. Jerry smiles.

Visit the Double Fine Amnesia Fortnight site right now to find more information on all the pitches — including more video of the four games above — and donate to get video updates & downloadable prototypes as they are made available. Over-average spenders get access to Ward’s eventual game from the pool above, and a DVD/Blu-ray combo available for people who spend $35 or above.