The cream of ‘puft’s current crop:
A space marine brings demons to life, locking colour-coded doors behind him before falling asleep, as his colleagues close a portal to hell.
A prince must hide the stars, by rolling them across the earth’s surface, until they break into small everyday objects.
JC Denton overthrows one of 3 new world orders, travels the globe, then waits for terrorists to rebuild the statue of liberty.
Pacman fills mazes with dots, pausing only to regurgitate fruit & ghosts.
He adds that he’s not quite sure where the meme started, but I’m fairly confident it grew out of this self-linking weekend Reddit thread entitled, “If you watch the movie ‘Jaws’ backwards, it’s a movie about a shark that keeps throwing up people until they have to open a beach.”
BackGames = Videogame plots in reverse [Just One More Game]
In a fun left-field feature done by former workmate and friend of Offworld Alistair Wallis, Official Xbox Mag takes a trip to Peter Jackson-related special effects house WETA for a Top Gear-type tour test-driving the Warthog, Halo‘s signature four-wheeler vehicle: a remnant of the since-canceled live action film Jackson was set to produce:
While the rounded acrylic windshield might look incredible in-game — and on film, too — the fact that the left-hand crease lines up exactly with the driver’s line of sight could be considered a bit of an issue. Suddenly, I’m a little worried again, and this is before he even starts explaining the three different steering modes: front-wheel steering, four-wheel independent steering, and a frankly rather frightening prospect he refers to as “crab mode.”
“It lets you drive sideways,” he explains cheerily.
We Drove The Warthog! [OXM ONLINE]
Corvus Elrod’s imagined version of A Clockwork Orange done up Lego-game-style makes me as uncomfortable to read as I imagine Elrod wanted it to: it’s a bit heavy handed at times (as, I suppose, it should be), but the post-Ludovico twist at the end was a nice touch, as is its deliberately destructive design:
Unlike you’d expect from a LEGO game, however, the majority of the game features absolutely no building. None at all. It’s all destruction and ultra-violence. The closest thing to a constructive action is in the Milk Bar, where pouring and drinking milk mixers from different taps slightly alters your interactions with the game. One drink slightly speeds up your movement, another makes you a bit stronger, yet another alters the coloration of the lighting in the levels, casting everything in a ghastly purplish hue.
Today’s 60 second diversion: The current wave of David Lee Roth fever — from soundboard to Songsmith — seems to be leaving no corner of net culture unscathed, and now Flash gaming is no exception. To wit: As(s)teroidz: Diamond Dave Edition, which is basically precisely what it says on the tin.
Just mind the Hagar.
Unless it’s my own over-dense prose, that is. As you may or may not have been experiencing, since launch our RSS feed has had a bit of a rough time properly converting line breaks, resulting in a single, near-unreadable mashed-up paragraph.
But no more: our own resident renaissance man Rob has finally kicked out the last of the feed gremlins and restored order, so you can now (re-)subscribe with confidence. Thanks to everyone who stuck that out.
I’ve also been getting an increasing number of emails and anonymous comments that some of you are having problems logging in to leave comments — we’re currently working on issues there and will let you know when those wrinkles have been ironed.
Let me know if you’re experiencing any other issues putting a damper on your stay here via the comments (you know, if you can) or that send-a-tip email at top right.
This is how I picture it: it’s 3:30am and you’ve just got off the express train back to your cramped flat after a long drunken night at a secret Kiiiiiii show or Delaware exhibi+ion, where you down a few more beers to keep the buzz alive, and that’s when your friend, er, ‘Steve’ (apparently) breaks out the Super Game Boy.
Knowing full well that his grasp of English is even more tenuous than yours with Japanese, he gives you the full play-by-play anyway, because he knows that’s what makes it so funny, and it is.
I have to imagine it this way because it’s almost impossible to get your head around otherwise. I still don’t understand why the Goomba broke the house windows to bite the pizza.
Possibly drunk japanese guy rambles over Mario Land (in English) [sp0rsk’s niconico re-upload, same guy/same schtick to Super Ghouls’n Ghosts in Japanese]
The current management of this rather seedy venue doesn’t much care about appearances, apparently. Nonetheless, it’s become one of the hottest spots in the area, attracting surly alcoholics from all around. A variety of local acts, the vast majority unrelentingly terrible, play here every Tuesday night. Coincidentally, it’s Tuesday night.
A host of unsavory-looking people makes up your audience for the night. They’re all staring at you expectantly.
A fake plastic guitar lies on the ground in front of you.
Bolted to the wall is a television screen, dark and foreboding.
I take back everything I said: moments after after clicking my tongue at the internet for not turning ianwarren’s Guitar Hero 1.0 concept into a playable text adventure, real ultimate hero Bill Meltsner emailed to let me know that his Champion of Guitars is, in fact, playable online.
It’s everything I’d hoped it would be, particularly its wry version of the audience enthusiasm/performance meter, and though I haven’t had the time yet to make it all the way through my first gig, Meltsner says the game does let you play the song to completion. He also hints that there are other audience-related and item manipulation easter eggs that I’ve yet to discover: let us know what you find via the comments below.
Image via DeGraeve’s IMG2TXT.
A little Monday morning epileptic error to get the week started right: I’m not sure which game this screenshot will end up being part of, but I’m almost positive it won’t be as excellent as this bug could’ve made it. For best results, mix with this.
The Error Party Shader [I Get Your Fail]
I Get About 55 Percent Of These Fails – Offworld
While it may lack that hardened mournful pall that says ‘determination in the face of a life of regret,’ kudos to Create-a-Wrestler forum-goer ‘Mani-Man’ for doing his eager best to recreate Randy Robinson — Mickey Rourke’s just-Oscar-nominated lead in The Wrestler — (without having seen the film!) and bringing ‘The Ram’ home from the 8-bit roots we saw on-screen.